If Sex Isn’t Part of Your Self-Care Plan for 2022, You’re Doing it Wrong (Self-Care, not Sex)

Making health and happiness a priority in 2022 will require a self-care plan that’s effective. Maybe you’re tired of hearing about the importance of self-care and the pressure to add more to your already overflowing plate of obligations. Self-care isn’t meant to be a chore, it’s meant to be something that leaves you feeling better than you did before. Many activities fit that bill, but few better than sex. If sex (either partnered or alone) isn’t part of your self-care plan for 2022, I strongly recommend you reconsider.

First, the physical and psychological health benefits associated with consensual sex are almost too numerous to count. Being stimulated in this way can flood the brain with feel-good chemicals like oxytocin (which is associated with bonding and intimacy), dopamine (which fuels motivation, drive, and reward), endorphins (which are the body’s natural stress and pain relievers), and endocannabinoids (which is the body’s natural THC). Orgasms increase blood flow to the brain, which increases oxygen to the brain, which can result in better cognitive and emotional functioning across the board.

Second, we know from psychological research on effective treatment and prevention methods for depression, regular pleasure practice is needed to be happy. Happiness doesn’t just happen. It requires routine and planned activation of the pleasure and reward centers of the brain to feel good and preserve the ability to feel good in the future. This finding is the foundation for an evidence-based treatment for depression called “behavioral activation.” In behavioral activation, we use a daily planner to schedule pleasurable activities for the sole purpose of getting the “joy juices” flowing again. We make a list of activities that used to be enjoyable or activities that might bring joy, pleasure, or delight back into your life, and make a plan to do at least one a week, if not one a day. Pleasure, on purpose, is important for preventing depression relapse in those most at risk.

Third, the act of sex as self-care (whether alone or with a partner) is a gift you can both give and receive. One of the reasons why self-care is so important is because it sends an important message to our brains that we are worth the time and effort that it takes to do. Making sex an act of self-care sends an important and empowering message that we are capable, worthy, and deserving of pleasure. Not to mention the associated and important benefits of closeness, connection, and intimacy, especially during these lonely and isolating times.

Finally, did you know that gratitude practice makes you more sexually satisfied? A recent study found a pretty strong link between gratitude practice and improved sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships. Because gratitude helps maintain and strengthen close relationships, regular gratitude practice motivated people to be more responsive to their partner’s sexual needs. Another reason to add gratitude to your self-care bag of tricks in 2022!